David Cameron to send daughter Nancy to Afghanistan

The Prime Minister of Great Britain, David Cameron, is to send his six year old daughter to Afghanistan this summer in an attempt to revive the allies' flagging efforts to wrest control of the country from the Taliban and other armed groups. "It will be fine," said Mr Cameron, when questioned about his daughter's safety, "She goes to a state school anyway. If I was prepared to do that did you really think I'd draw the line at Afghanistan?"

Cameron's wife Samantha, of aristocratic stock, is said to be ecstatic about the news. "It runs in the family," she said. "My great great great grandfather fought in the First Anglo-Afghan War." She refused to be drawn on the manner of her great great great grandfather's death. "We must be patriotic in war," she said. "And my daughter is showing the rest of the country the way."

The Cameron family neither confirmed nor denied rumours that their daughter is receiving private tuition in the recognition and extraction of precious metals. "That's a private family matter," said the Prime Minister's spokesman. "Though there are some things the daughter of a very rich family should know that are not taught in state schools."

British soldiers are said to have offered Nancy Cameron their flak jacket for the duration of her stay in Afghanistan. "We don't really use it," they explained. "It got boring drawing lots for it every day so now it just sort of hangs there in the tent. Lets face it if Johnny Taliban is going to get you that day he's going to get you."

The Prime Minister praised the selflessness of the soldiers, promising them they would be home soon. "You can come home just as soon as Nancy does," he said. "And she's coming home just as soon as she's defeated the Taliban and found some of that lithium they've got lying about. That's a Conservative promise, and we keep our promises."