Kurd-killing Saddam killed good Kurds, Kurd-killing Turks kill bad Kurds, explains US Army spokesman

Good kurds or bad kurds?

The US has today defended itself against accusations of hypocrisy for passing intelligence information to Turkey in order to help the Turkish army bomb Kurdish villages in Northern Iraq. President Bush had previously cited Saddam Hussein's murdering of Kurds as a prime motivation for invading the country.

A spokesman for the US Military explained the logic. "Saddam was a Kurd-killer, but he was a good Kurd-killer. The good Kurds didn't kill and so killing those Kurds was catastrophic. Turkey kills bad Kurds, and the bad Kurds kill, so Turkey killing Kurds is okay with us. The quality of Kurd-killing changes according to the quality of Kurds. Turkey killing Kurdish killers can't be critiqued."

When pressed on the issue of innocent civilian deaths, the spokesman went on to say, "Collateral Turkish Kurd-killing compromises killing quality but Kurdish killers must be killed by Turkish killers or bad Kurds will kill Turks. Everything clear?"

The spokesman was relieved of duties and taken to a lunatic asylum shortly afterwards