Those IRA chickens gave us eggs, say disappointed anti-Blair protesters

An all-too innocent egg

Disappointed anti-war protesters in Dublin have today lashed out at the IRA for failing to provide the correct weaponry for their attack on Tony Blair in a Dublin bookshop. "Those lily-livered IRA bastards, you can't trust them," one protester said. "We said to our contacts, we said GRENADES. Live ones. He deserves no less. And what did they give us? Eggs. Bloody eggs. What good are they? Are we meant to hope he'll die of salmonella poisoning?"

Several IRA members from Belfast are said to have persuaded the anti-war protesters that the eggs were in fact grenades that would explode on contact with evil. "We were expecting one almighty boom," admitted one of the plotters. "We were wearing ear plugs and everything. If you ask me the IRA have a soft spot for Blair after that peace process business. Either that or they really are chickens and so eggs are all they could give us." The interview ended when the activist began to make clucking sounds apparently directed at the IRA.